Missing

So I haven't really been around much lately.  And I know that you're not sitting out there anxiously waiting for new updates/pictures, but still, I feel like I've been way too quiet recently.

There are a few reasons.  Dan's been away quite a bit which puts me on sole parenting, dog-walking, stop-the-cat-from-eating-the-house duty which all takes time.  But I'm also not in a great place right now.  More bad, crappy, life can be so terribly unfair stuff has happened, and the bounce back from that is taking a long time.

That's not to say that there's no happiness left - because there definitely is.  I cannot wait for Christmas.  Normally I don't get into the swing of things until the last moment, and then I regret how short the season is.  Not this year.  We're going to have mulled wine on the stove top from now until January.  The decoration box will come out in the next few weeks (and yup, we only have 1 box at the moment - but we WILL get more).  The cards will be sent out soon, and the presents will start to be wrapped.  I'm even going to dig out our Reggae Christmas Carol CD and put it on repeat.  

So Christmas is making me happy.  And so are small things.  I've been noticing birds a lot lately - maybe because I've been trying to look around me and appreciate what I have right now in my life, instead of walking with my head down just concentrating on putting one foot in front of another.  Today when I was driving home from getting my winter tires put on (yup, it's that time of year also), I saw a huge huge flock of those tiny little sparrow-like birds flying around.  There must have been a few hundred of them.  It was a moment of beauty and grace and magic.  A happy, life-is-great moment.

So between Christmas and the birds and the people I love, things are not so bad.  However, things may continue to be fairly quiet on this front, at least for the next little while.  

But I'll see you on the other side, and if I manage to stay quiet until Christmas (which is highly unlikely - I'll probably be back boring you with more Kalani related dramas in a week), then big fantabulous Christmas hugs to all of you.

Wanted: 1 Hobby

Today somebody asked me what 'activities' I was interested in - i.e. what did I do for a hobby in my spare time.

Huh?

Spare time?

Sheeesh - all my time goes into basic survival.  Work, keep house clean(ish), keep husband and child fed and clean(ish), keep pets alive.  And that's it.

As I was driving home, I thought about this and realised that I am boring.  Very boring.  I don't do ANYTHING other than just get by.  I never feel as if I have enough time to take on anything new.

Dan has surfing which requires some sacrifices.  On both our parts.  He sacrifices sleep since he gets up around 4ish to go out for a dawn session, and I sacrifice having him at home letting me sleep in/have spare time.  But it's definitely worth it.  He can be having a god awful time with life and work and his wife (!!!), and then he'll go surfing for a day and come home a totally different man.  Well, not totally different, but definitely rejuvenated.  It's his passion and I'm happy(ish) to give up my sleep-in's so that he can keep surfing.

So I need an interest too.  Something outside of work and home and children.  I'm losing myself in my mundane life and I need to find my own passion.

Now obviously I'm not about to start surfing.  Not here.  For many reasons:

1. I'm not an idiot;
2. I don't like the cold - and the water here is very cold (the surfers here put vaseline on their faces in winter to stop ice forming);
3. I like sleeping in;
4. I hate being held under water, and that happens a lot when you surf.  Unless you're Kelly Slater.  Actually, I think that even he gets dumped all the time.

Anyway, so I need an 'interest'.  I do a bit of yoga, but only because I feel like I should - so that doesn't really count.  I do this (blogging), but this is more like therapy than a hobby.  I sometimes play WoW (and no I'm not 'finished' yet!), but I now just end up feeling that each quest is just yet another thing I need to do.

So - I'm open to suggestions.  I'd like a really interesting hobby, that makes people think "Wow - she might be a Mum, and old, but She. Is. Cool".  

PS - I'm not interested in sky-diving, though it ticks a lot of the 'cool hobby' boxes.  I think it's more of an anti-lifestyle choice, and while my life may be kind of boring, I still like it very much thank you.

PPS - I'm also not interested in knitting.  It would be very handy to be able to make my own sweaters etc, but it doesn't tick any boxes. 

I'll Fix You Mummy

So the last few months have been kind of awful, and the emotional healing process for this mc is taking a lot longer than the others.  Perhaps because I'm coming to the realisation that there won't be another baby and that's really difficult to get past.

I've made a big effort not to be sad around Kalani, but it appears that perhaps he's picked up on the fact that I'm still not feeling whole.

This morning I was sitting on the couch with my cup of coffee and he came over with his tools.

"I'll fix you Mummy"

Ahh.. innocent fun with tape measures I thought.  No problem.
 

And then ... "This won't hurt a bit" and out came the saw.

I think he realised that sawing someone's head in half isn't a very nice thing to do, so he tried to hide the evidence ...

Strangely - I did feel a lot better afterwards.

Kalani the Healing Handyman.

Awesome August and Sizzling September

I haven't done one of these for a while and I really love doing these pictastic photo journal type things.  The quality of the pictures isn't that great, and the shots are all unsteady and non-creative, but it's really enjoyable looking back over the last few weeks and remembering.

Kalani is going to be pro surfer....  only we can't get him into the pool to learn how to swim.  No matter - he practices his pop-ups with Dan, and occasionally they go surfing together.

I celebrated my birthday in August.  I turned 29 for the 10th time.  It's a lovely age.

We've had the most wonderful summer.  Really hot.  There were only a few days that were really wet.  One of them drew all the monsters out into the street.

Cute monsters though ...

And another crazy weather day brought down one of our trees into the neighbours back garden.  Luckily Kalani was on hand to help with the clean-up operation.

 Kalani has also been trying his hand at photography.

And I've been trying to do more of these types of photo's.  Ideally they'd have Dan in them as well, but he keeps buggering off to different places for work and play, so bleuuehh ..

A wonderful friend got married.  The whole event was lovely apart from Kalani having a total meltdown in the middle of the ceremony which resulted in me taking him outside and yelling at him, only to later discover that the church door had been left open so everyone could hear me yelling "Come and lie down you awful child, I need to change your stupid poopy bottom".  *sigh*  Nothing like the house of God to let everyone see what an awful parent you are!

This was Kalani's expression just before we had to leave the church

Much to my surprise, it seems that Kalani knows a bit of yoga. Normally I don't practice until after he's in bed, but I guess that at some stage he's seen something since one afternoon he got out the mat and started to do a little flow ...

And finally, there's been music.  Lotsa music.  At the wedding he sung "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to the (partly emptied) reception over the microphone.  He was a little upset that I wouldn't let him up to perform on the stage.

Until next time chickadee's.  Happy Thanksgiving.

Christmas Cod Anyone?

I don't normally send out Christmas cards.  Mostly because I can't really be bothered.  Even back when I did have time.

But now I've reached a crisis point.  My "just can't be bothered"-ness is at war with my "I can't handle having unused cluttery stuff all over the place"-ness because of this ...

Yup - those free flipping Xmas cards that all the charities keep sending (and yes, they keep sending them because I'm a total sucker and always mail them a cheque back because I feel so bad that they've sent me something for free).  And now, after 5 years of receiving these cards and stockpiling them in a box, it's time to purge.

The obviously nice spin-off is that everyone who gets a card will think that we're awesome (unless you read this blog, and then you know that you've just received some seasonal de-clutter).

Whatever the reason, send me your address and I will send back a cute card with puppies on it.

Merry Xmas.

Oh crap, it really is too early for this isn't it?  It's only flipping October.  *sigh*

As a total aside, the name of this post was inspired (ha ha) by a conversation I had with a shop-keeper shortly after we arrived in Newfoundland.  I asked him if he had any blank card's.  He thought I was asking for blank cod's.  We were in an outdoor clothing store.  We were both very confused.