Sometimes this makes me immeasurably sad. I’d love for Kalani to have a sibling to grow up with. To share experiences with. To play with/confide in/fight with. To have someone to turn to when Dan and I have to be put into a home etc.
BUT - having children is really hard work. And sometimes I just can’t imagine how much harder it would be with a second one. Some days I can’t even cope with 1 child. How would I manage with 2?
I’m one of those mothers that were ridiculously happy to go back to work. To put their child into full-time daycare (even though I’m still wracked with guilt every day that he goes there) and go to a place where I can speak to adults, drink a cup of tea without interruption and go to the toilet without an audience. I know there are people out there who like to stay at home with their children, but I just assume that they have heavenly powers that I don't have.
So, the thought of having another year off as maternity leave, looking after a new baby and Kalani (since there’s no way we could afford to keep K in daycare) fills me with horror.
Anyway, we’ll see what the future brings, but I think that we might have to encourage Kalani to create a few imaginary friends since they may be the only other children that will ever live in our house.
Apart from my husband.
Hee hee - just kidding.
Sort of! ;)
Likely I will still be at home to play with if K does sprout a sibling but, even if he doesn't, we can provide one or two or even three cousins to help keep the imaginary friends in line and to teach K the true meaning of rivalry, sibling, cousin and otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI totally got excited. But then I nodded my way through your post. Good for you for being honest. You're not alone!
ReplyDeleteTwos okay, going to three, thats when you need to sell them or your sanity on ebay!
ReplyDeleteVery true Liffey. We were only ever able to have the one and it has been my constant challenge to work out how to parent an only child. How do I maintain the role of parent and not fall into the role of sibling. Now that he is 14 it can be an incredibly lonely experience. He seems to have lost all conversational ability and I have become very uncool. Friends say that it won’t last but it is just a new phase and a new challenge. I think that the balance of other interests in your life (like work) are what make you a better mum, wife and friend. Keep up your great work and find your own way through. Don't let other people’s expectations seep into your own. xx Deb Stanley
ReplyDeleteI hear you sister! Two?! Jeez, one is enough work. Hugs from a fellow mummy who doesn't find it all earthy and natural. xxx
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ReplyDeleteI agree, Liffey. Since I've been working part-time, my work days are like a spa vacation. Windowless cubicle in the basement, here I come! Though I have to say, now that they are a bit older, having two is getting much easier because they can play together (for five minutes without squabbling) and I can sneak off and get a shower.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Maybe if you did have another baby, you could split the parental leave with Dan? 6 months each?