When you have a child, you lose some level of self-consciousness/dignity. After all, you’ve let umpteen people look ‘down there’ while you delivered your baby, and even if you had a c-section, you’ve probably still experienced quite a few people prodding, poking and looking at your bits.
It’s not that you don’t have any dignity left, it’s just that you forget about it for a while.
Or so I thought.
A few weeks ago I took K to the doctors. While we were there I needed to go to the loo, so in we both went. While I was sitting on the toilet, K started to open the door (it’s one of those button-press door handles, that pops open as soon as you pull the handle down) which opens out into the doctor’s waiting room.
Me: “Kalani. KALANI.
Come and have a look at this, erm, interesting piece of toilet paper over here.
Stop opening the door and Come. Over. Here”.
So thankfully I managed to divert his attention long enough to quickly finish and button up.
Then last weekend we went to Walmart. Once again I needed to go to the toilet so off we went. This time we went into the handicapped cubicle (it was 9am on Sunday - there was nobody else in the store - handicapped or otherwise). Bad move! Handicapped cubicles are large. Too large to grab hold of your annoying little Houdini when he wriggles under the door (touching all the masses of gross, germy yuckness on the floor) and escapes.
Me: “KA. LA. NI. Come. Back. Now.”
Kalani: Opens door to the toilet next to mine (which I later saw had stuff in it still!) and calls out “Oooohhhhh”
I finished up VERY quickly and ran out of the cubicle with my tights down and skirt up still (luckily the toilets were still empty) and yanked Kalani out of the neighbouring cubicle so hard that he yelped.
So what’s the point of this story?
Make sure you’re wearing nice knickers whenever you take your toddler anywhere with you. Also, you might like to think about some grooming. Just in case.