It's tough isn't it, this balancing act between work and home? I'm not complaining, I'm just saying it's tough, and I could do with some advice.
Before I came back to work, a friend who'd just recently returned to work after her first child said that she didn't feel like she did anything well anymore. She didn't feel like she did a good job at work, and she didn't feel like she did a good job as a mum.
I know how she felt. I feel like that every day.
Every morning is a mad rush just trying to get us all out of the door with some food in our stomachs and a semblance of respectability to our attire (though I keep finding toothpaste on my trousers, or bum cream on my top, or dried up porridge on my socks).
Work is a crazy mad cycle of trying to get everything done without needing to work 1 minute extra. Because I don't have 1 minute extra - I have to go and pick up K before I go insane with the guilt of having left him at daycare for so long.
Then it's home for more rushing around - dinner, walk dog, bathe K, put him into bed and say goodnight 87 times.
Whew.
So where's the 'quality' time that I should be spending with my son? Where's the time and commitment that I should be showing to my employer?
I hate that I'm not with Kalani all the time, but then on the other hand I'd go crazy if I did stay at home (and to all you saints that are stay at home mum's - I think you guys are amazing and I've no idea how you do it!).
I also hate that I never leave work when it's a logical time to (you know, when I've actually finished something). Instead I have to leave bang-on going home time which makes me look (and feel) like a clock-watching, uncommitted bludger.
I also hate that I never leave work when it's a logical time to (you know, when I've actually finished something). Instead I have to leave bang-on going home time which makes me look (and feel) like a clock-watching, uncommitted bludger.
So what's the solution?
Seriously - what's the solution?
I sure as buggery don't know. I just feel like I'm cranky and rushed and stressed and doing a half-arsed job of everything all the time.
I know I'm not the only one, but I'm sure that someone out there knows how to commit at work and be a great mum too.
Answers on a postcard to "I need a free nanny"
Could you work part-time? I'm finding that really good for me, even if our line of credit is suffering from burn-out. :)
ReplyDeleteI'd love to, but it's just not an option at the moment. Ideally I would get paid twice as much as I currently do, and then just work in the mornings, leaving the afternoons free. Oh well, a girl can dream :)
DeleteHa, sounds good to me! Especially the getting paid twice as much. ;)
DeleteYou might be amazed at how you could live on less income. I used to wonder if I could afford to reduce my work week from full-time to 80% (even 90%). In the end, I suddenly quit my job altogether, cutting our family income in half, and we are actually getting by. It's so worth it.
ReplyDeleteAlternatively, if you haven't already, hire a cleaning person and don't feel at all guilty about spending money on things that save you time. Seriously.
I really do wish that I could cut back to part-time (I don't think I have the patience to stay at home full-time), but it's just not an option.
DeleteAs for having a cleaner - great idea! Actually, I think what I'd really like is to have a housekeeper/nanny - kind of a Mrs Doubtfire type, who'd mother us and cook for us and make us apple pies.